Running

The shrilling and perpetual car alarms reached through my glass window reminding me it was another day of class. I lazily reach for my phone only to have it slip from my grip onto the cold wooden floor. I groan in irritation and stretch out my arms and legs. Hastily I lift up my body and turn my legs over the side of the bed and reach for my sidekick. The old worn out phone that never holds decent service rang out in a chilling manner as the alarm just went out 5:30 a.m. Finally standing up, I fight a wave of dizziness and search the walls for the light switch only to trip over one of my books lying on the floor. Squinting at the malicious light that surrounded my room, I walk to the bathroom only to find that my sister beat me to it. Inwardly I cursed and walked downstairs to hear about my mother’s daily events at work and how society does not enforce safety measures for students.

In the side room lays a white laundry basket filled with work clothes, mismatched socks and t-shirts. No jeans. I walk downstairs only to jump at the movement of something across the floor a black cat that comes in greeting ready to fight. My jeans I planned to wear were soaked to the core and I run upstairs to brush my teeth only to find there is no toothpaste, back downstairs I grab it and hastily wash my face and clean my teeth. I shower, get dressed in old ripped jeans that have holes that my fist can fit through. My hair half soaked and school bag half-open I run out the door. Half way down the block I search in my pockets for my metro card.  Taking out my hand, I see a mixture of lint, gum wrappers, loose change and a car service card an old man gave me in Union Square. No metro card. Sprinting back to the house I run into a neighbor that goes into great detail on how tall I’ve grown and how is school? I smile and answer as quickly as I can without seeming rude than wave my goodbyes. Up the steps and found the card, I ran to the bus. Bus comes and I wait on a line of junior high school kids with inflated huge backpacks, the occasional elderly lady with the funny hat and the business man. The bus makes it stops and gets more packed. “Move to the rear of the bus please” yells the bus driver. Of course no one moves and stares at the one behind as if to signal them. The bus driver threatens to shut off the engine and now move. This lasted ten minutes. It is now 7:55. Ocean Avenue finally hits. Off the bus and waiting for the walking signal so I can cross the street. The red hand on the light teases me as the B49 sweeps by. I walk the blocks to the limited stop and find myself behind two women arm in arm discussing the past events with no indication of moving faster. I start to walk around them into the street only to hear the blaring of a dark blue van coming towards me. I jump and run to the bus stop only to realize the B49 Limited was the one I have missed. It is now 8:25 a.m. Finally, I get on the bus only to get stuck between two young girls discussing the life or death decision on what hair color they should die their hair next and if the jeans they had on made their thighs look fat.

Kingsborough Community College’s inviting banner makes me feel happy to finally be at school. I run towards the campus to witness a line of security guards checking IDs. Oh crap…my ID card. I figured I wouldn’t need it since I could not find it for a week now. Walking to the computer I type in my information in a quick manner only to make typos and starting the process all over. My horrid picture pops up on the screen and I grab my bag and run towards the campus. The sea of students in passing makes it impossible to run down the hallway through the colorful alphabetized sections of the building. I see the M building and run up the three flights of steps, heaving and feeling the muscles working in my legs. I always get lost in the halls of the M building, so many different paths to take I choose the right one at least I made one good decision this morning. I open the door to face the curious faces staring at my half-opened black bag to my holey jeans and Albert Einstein hair of the day. I sit down and hear only this, “You’re late”.

Published in: on August 4, 2010 at 11:55 PM  Leave a Comment  

Memoir of Love

Have you ever felt love, the heart wrenching love that kills and steals all senses? I’ve felt it and believed in it numerous times. I grasped this idea about love thinking I was fortunate to behold it. So many of those loves I walked away from. The thought that crossed my mind profusely was the fact that I kept telling myself that if that sensation, those moments in time I felt were real, wouldn’t those men I gave my soul to come back? Was it even possible to let go of a love that strong? I envied their movements, the train of thoughts that were so easy to be forgotten. I cried and cursed the skies, screaming in my heart why love had let go of me…Years have passed and lovers have came and went in my life. Memories emerged at random moments, a touch of an object or a scene replayed by a park bench. Myself being the romantic, I convinced that these were tell tale signs of my love for each of those men. When I cried, I cursed them a darkest fear to feel what I felt; now I only give my silent thanks for teaching me how to hold up and move along in this sea tide of days. Years later, I laugh to myself of how ironic life can be played out. How one face, one simple irrelevant conversation can have you going on with your life, only to reappear and become everything to you.

I have felt that impression of having someone come back into my life and well screw it all up. To just fall into this abyss of ignorance and smile at the unknown was my plan. Yet I fell in love by force. Trickery and charm caught my eyes and held onto my heart with strong hands. I could not have escaped nor did I want to. That love developed from a short acquaintance to knowledgeable similarities. I fought it and told myself of the danger that would soon possess all my bearing. Yet it was futile. His eyes studied and refused to break away. When our eyes locked I knew he saw me, saw all of myself, all dreams and fears of him. I strived for the conversations to build to be discussed and analyzed. My interests were sought and respected. I felt alive with hope and beginning. A simple touch brought ecstasy and shivers that I have never experienced before.

We have fought and screamed, cried over each other’s anguish. I have run from him and tried to escape to tell myself he is the same as the rest. No one will be chasing me, not now or ever. I grabbed my bag and ran out the door, he was inside oblivious. Earlier I felt the pain that would soon engulf me just like the others. I knew if I let myself fall even deeper then the last, I would be creating my own death. And then I ran blocks and blocks ahead in the wintry time, tears falling from my eyes. I knew I had runaway. As I ran I heard the sound of raging footsteps the beats coming closer and there he was, panting by my side asking why. I couldn’t bring forth the tears or the strain of words that wanted to fight through my heart to his ears. He told me we could not be waiting, waiting to be chased. His eyes held a passion and an answer. If I looked I saw deeper than that, it held acknowledgement of the pain that enveloped my being. All that crossed my mind was the fact he was here right in front of me. His love so strong he fought to hold on. That love could damage me someday. The love was forbidden and hidden in our hearts. Our caution prevented us from giving in. A joke on destiny’s part kept us separate until we couldn’t breathe. He warned me of walking away and I challenged it. I challenged that love knowing it could never be. A friendship that gave us life can be easily being the death of us both. I could not face his eyes or his heart again. I saw myself in him and it hurt me to the core. The night I walked away was my last.

The days and nights have passed where crying was not an option. No feelings were present in my eyes. My reflection was cold as marble making me feel isolated from society. I have moved ahead with my life with a deep understanding or perhaps it was resentment. To throw away love to save oneself is suicide one may say. Yet here I am still breathing, all of my being is present. A part of my soul has been given to him and shall remain with him. If I search hard enough I can relive those moments in time with clarity. If I close my eyes I can feel his touch and movements, his voice of reasons and philosophy that gripped me perpetually. Yet my life now is a battlefield, love as my enemy. This type of love will be the death of us all. He was my life, the answer to my prayers, the nightmare of my heart.

© 2010 Jennifer Marie Theresa Spencer

Published in: on June 14, 2010 at 4:18 PM  Leave a Comment  

From Thames to Lethe

The sky fell in a dark manner over the castle creating an eerie aura. All was silent and still as the wind moved the trees in a swaying motion. Charity woke up with a start on the ground perhaps fifty feet away from the Tower of London. She pushed her hands against the cold dirt pulling herself to her feet. Frantically looking around her, she momentarily forgot who she was. The taste of metal filled her mouth and as she bit down on something hard. Taking her fingers she pulled out a golden coin covered in blood. “Why is there a coin pushed between my teeth! I cannot remember how I ended up here or why this is happening.” Staring up at the castle before her she exclaimed, “I have lived there! That was my home. My name is Lady Cole and something dreadful happened inside those stone walls”. She studied her ripped gown and saw splatters of blood near her shoulders and chest. Holding out her arms she saw dark blue bruises lining up from her wrist to her elbow. “What happened to me here?”  Trembling from the cold, she walked farther down the road towards a familiar river. It looked like a bottomless pit filled with thick black water. The reflection of the moonlight gave it a ghostly glow. As the bare trees fell overhead beckoning one to come closer.

Charity rubbed her arms to rid the chill from her body as she saw a silhouette of a man alongside a boat. She waved her arms frantically, “Sir! Over here!” Still the man did not move but stared ahead at the river before him. Still she screamed, “Do you not see me? I am Lady Cole! I beg you sir to assist me!” Running over the mounds of rock and dirt she tripped over stuck branches and pushed the loose strands falling out of her bun behind her ears. Still she ran towards the only living aspect around her. Her chest ached and her breathing became heavy. She clutched her hand to her heart as she fell in front of the man. The ground was moist as she looked up and realized she was near the river bank. Staring at the man, she realized he was in his later years with a heavy gray beard. He wore a black overthrow with long sleeves that matched with the dark sky. A rope tied around his waist with black pants and boots.

Hastily she lifted herself up and stood face to face with the man with the piercing blue eyes. She exclaimed in an exasperated manner, “Sir, have you not heard me calling for assistance?”

He lifted up one of his old hand as if to silence her, “My child, you should know that if you called for any other being, it would be in vain. No one besides me can hear you.”

“Well of course no one else can hear me; you are the only breathing person around here except for the cold bodies I see!”

He chuckled and said, “Judging by your gown you must be either a lady amongst the court or one of the king’s pleasures.”

“I will not be talked to with such hostility. I am Lady Cole, a woman amongst the court of King Henry VIII. I do not know why blood spatters my gown but I intend to return to my rightful place”, she then lifted up her gown and started walking.

“You will not get far child! You do not belong in such a kingdom no more. Your mannerism is telling me you are confused and losing your head” he then waited for her response.

Her green eyes held fire as she replied and marched up to him, “I do not belong in such an institution as the damned sir. If you would excuse me, I will go to my waiting maids.”

She watched as his eyes changed for just a moment, perhaps a flicker of pity?

He then sighed, “My dear, it is not your mind you have lost, though it would have been lost in that same process I suppose. You were under the King’s wrath. Judging by the splatter on your gown around the shoulders and the bruises that plague your arms…you were executed.”

She stepped away and put her hand to her hand. Then realizing where her hand was, she dropped it in an instant. Memories started rushing back to when she was staring remembering her dear family to the poundings on the door; the fear in her heart as they grabbed her and pulled her into a boat towards the tower. The damp and cramped conditions of the cell and the odors of feces and deteriorating bodies filled her senses. Then her walking up to the guillotine hearing the cries and cheers of the people, her head laying on the stone block and the swiftness of the wind upon her neck…

She stated in a barely audible whisper, “I remember now. How is this possible? Am I not acceptable by the lord?” She grabbed the corners of her gown and sat on the ground as if traumatized.

The old man walked silently towards her and said, “If you do not remember, you wished to punish the accuser who sent you to the guillotine. Perhaps this is the reason why you are no other than in Purgatory as they say. I am Mathias Loncastre, the chosen oarsman to transport you towards Hades Rivers” he then held out his hand.

However, she just stared at him in utter confusion. Her eyes kept darting from him towards the black waters of Thames. Finally after a minute she responded, “I was to be beheaded to make way for a lady such like myself to become Queen of England. I did not choose the fate of being of the King’s moment’s desire but it happened. Why am I to be punished for his undeserved power? My death should have brought me towards the sky to forget about past misfortunes rather than dwell into the cold caves of the underworld!”

The oarsman sighed in exasperation and shook his head. His hands fiddled with a rock tied on an old rope around his neck, “I cannot begin to fathom why I was chosen to lead the dead into darkness. Believe me, I held a life before this and my revenge became the death of me. I will explain all your questions until your skin turns blue.” His eyes crinkled in amusement as Charity just gave a stern look. All turned serious as he replied, “Perhaps it is not the best time to jest about your current condition. Have you found any sort of token to give you the ride towards the next life?”

Charity fumbled for the coin in her gown’s tarnished pockets. Pulling out the coin she studied it, “It is nothing like the currency held in England. I have found it between my teeth. I daresay you should tell your…people to find a better place to give to the dead.” The coin was silver and rough due to the carvings of a head on top of the coin. The head wore some sort of headdress with large Egyptian looking eyes. On the flip side of the coin held a carving of a parrot like bird that filled the whole surface.

Charity then placed the coin in the palm of Mathias’ hand. She watched as he took the coin between his index and middle finger and brought it to his lips and kissed it. He then dropped it into a pouch tied near his waist. He then smiled at Charity and said, “You are fortunate to have had maids that respected and loved you; for they must have put the coin in your mouth. It is an ancient coin from Greece I should say. If you were not given this coin, you would be damned to aimlessly walk the earth for hundred years before you were allowed passage on my gondolier. Now we have spent long enough contemplating your current affairs. Will you step aboard my abode?” He then held out his hand and waited.

Charity took one last glance at the fortress that plagued her last year. In the darkness it was menacing, showing the evil that corrupted a kingdom of privilege and power. A chill swept down her spine and she shuddered as she climbed into the boat.

The wooden boat rocked as they descended into the abyss of the water. The moon swept behind a cloud dimming all light to a faint gleam. The ravens circled the tower of London mockingly and their cries turned into a faint whisper. Charity watched as the scenery changed and as her former residence soon disappeared behind thrift of fog. She was not such a person to succumb to fear so easily, yet moving into the unknown shattered all courageous demeanors. To break the silence she asked, “Mathias, how did you become a slave to such a fate as this? You mentioned having a life before you took the dead to their fates.”

Mathias face turned cold and hard. His eyes drifted to a faraway place as if fighting all memories. Finally he said, “No one had ever cared about how I became what I am. There was a former oarsman by the name of Charon who would transport the dead to the rivers of Lethe. I menaced the gods I once doubted and was cursed with this fate. I held a family which I cherished beyond measure. I had a wife who bore me a son and a daughter. The house was simple and nothing to exclaim over but it was filled with generosity and laughter.” Charity smiled as he recalled the memory. Yet darkness dimmed his eyes and sadness overtook as a tear fell down his haggard cheeks.

“It was a cold winter that overtook us. The crops would not grow and we were poor to begin with. We had nothing to feed our animals and we could not eat since they grew sick from hunger. A disease swept the villages, harming various residents. It overtook my children of ages four and eight. My wife being the giving mother that she was, refused to stand by and watch them die.” He hesitated then said, “The doctor did not know how to treat the illness and told people to avoid others infected; to wash all clothes in boiling water and rest. He told us to pray for a miracle and for salvation to save us from death” he then looked towards Charity.

Charity held compassion and sympathy in her green eyes. She nodded her understanding and her consent for him to continue. Mathias cleared his throat and choked on a sob, “My wife got infected. I begged her to keep away from the children, to wait till the doctor had time to come. I watched as they suffered and felt chilled with the cold. Each night I cut lumber for a fire to pass heat and keep them warm. Fevers and sweat poured down their cheeks and I felt helpless. Ten days later my children passed away and two days after that…my wife.”

Charity’s tears stained her cheeks as she imagined the loving mother caring for her children, sacrificing her heath to save them. Her hand reached and laid on Mathias’ arm in condolences and she whispered her deepest regrets. Mathias pulled his arm away and his countenance turned grim, “I cursed the fates and I cursed the gods above! I swore my vengeance against them for taking my family and not myself. That night was a storm. The lightning and thunder pierced the skies and the wind moved the poor foundation of my home. I came outside in the rain and reached my fists in the air and promised I would find my family and bring them back towards the living. I got part of my wish that night. The gods gave Charon his leave and peace and made myself hold the power of moving from the living to the dead.” He then grew silent and moved the oars with a deadening speed.

Charity sat still, too paralyzed to move. Her heart went out to the bitter man who lost all he loved. As she was about to comfort him, her eyes widened in disbelief. The waters erupted and the currents grew dangerous. The sea pulled back like a boomerang and showed a land of rocks on each side. As the fog soon parted, she witnessed a large cave. Her arms crossed over her chest and she darted her eyes towards the large structure before her. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she heard the moans and cries of souls around her. She could not find where it came from but she felt tugging on her sleeves and the pulling of her hair. The air chilled dramatically and the sadness over took her. She found herself reaching towards the waters, striving to help the lost souls. Her mind lost all reason. Mathias realizing what was happening pulled her further back into the midsection of the boat. He grabbed her arm roughly and said, “Do not let the cries pull you into the deep. They are lost souls forever wandering. We are almost towards Lethe and my deed would be completed.”

Charity stared at him defiantly, “I know of Lethe and I read its stories. It is the river where one forgets one’s past life. How can you subject a person to losing the one aspect that holds them into the living world? You of all people who held a family so dear cannot wish such a fate on someone!”

Mathias’ voice rose in anger, “Do you not wish to live again? To drink from the river and be given a second life?!” The boat rocked furiously as he yelled and stood before her. “I lost all that held meaning in my life! I have realized they are no more! I shall not find them, for their souls are in another carcass. Their memories are forgotten about me, yet I am still haunted by their faces each time I close my eyes. So child, I bear you to drink from that river as we are descending upon it now. Accept this fate as a new beginning as a gift from the gods, you have not offended them as I have done!”

The boat moved into a circle of river lighted by a silver gleam. A weeping willow surrounded the water on the sides as the strings of its leaves fell into the deep waters. Charity gave out a cry as she saw flesh of people lying on rocks near the tree. They appeared to be alive yet one can tell by the paleness of their skin that life fled from their eyes. Some were in the water with their hands folding into a cup as they brought the liquid to their lips and fervently drank its contents. Others reached out and grab the boat holding it within their grasps as their soulless eyes reached towards Charity. She heard their faint whispers but their lips would not move, “Have you seen my child? I cannot find him! Where am I? The night took my life.” The woman’s cries pierced her ears as she tried to pull away but the cries persisted. “Bring me back! She is alive, more alive than any of us! Find me my child!!”

Charity gave out a scream and pulled her arm away. Her arm held bloody scratch marks where the woman dug her nails. Mathias took the oar and swung it around warningly as the bodies moved away. His eyes moved to the water and desire swept his eyes. “My dear this is your salvation, drink from this substance. Have your chance to make your life fulfilled. Do not let this opportunity waste.”

She stared into his eyes and obeyed. Her hands fell into the cold water as held it in her hands. She then turned her head and looked at Mathias. “I cannot drink from this water. I am not ready to forget my parents and the love which they shed upon me. I wish to reflect on my past life before I descend into a new one.”

She then took the water in her hands and lifted them into the air. Her hands went in a sweeping motion as she threw the water at Mathias’ face. He staggered back astonished as the liquid seeped into his lips. He cried out, “What have you done?! I cannot just drink a few sips; I must drink it all to forget. You have plagued yourself with the fate of the dead. I hold pity for your future here.”

Charity just smiled and replied, “I will hold your place and bargain with the gods. You have held tragedy in your life. Such an event of losing one’s family does not give the gods a right to punish you to eternity of transporting lost souls. You must now live again, I will tell Persephone, Queen of the Dead of my tale. I am not worried, for I wish not to forget my life.” She then grabbed the oars from his hand and watched as he was compelled to drink more of the liquid. His body lost his solid form as his soul drifted from his body. It moved swiftly towards the opening of the cave and soon vanished into the night. She could have sworn she heard the soul whisper, “Thank you, may you live at peace again.”

Later on for her heroic decision and giving the gift of life to the oarsman, Charity was given the gift of new beginnings as well from the Queen. However, for her gracious compassion of love, she held all memories of her family as if it were something of a dream. All nightmares were soon forgotten from her mind as she was able to live once again.
© 2010 Jennifer Marie Theresa Spencer

Published in: on June 14, 2010 at 4:16 PM  Leave a Comment  

Tragedy in the Stars

The alarm shrilled in the dark lit room. Lazily, Leah’s hand reached out and knocked the alarm to the floor. Cursing she stretches her arms and legs, sighs then reaches over to pick up the importuning clock. Her legs slid over to the side of the bed as she hears her mother’s yells. She showers and brushes her hair while putting on the new outfits she closely picked out especially for this day. Leah started to feel anxious as the realization took that she would be starting college today.

After getting dressed in skinny dark blue jeans, a white button down blouse, leather boots and leather jacket she studied herself in the mirror. She had a pale complexion against her thick wavy auburn hair pulled back into a bun with loose strands hanging down. The evidence of her lack of sleep shown with bags under her eyes. Muttering she says, “This is as good as it’s gonna get”. She then runs down the oak wooden steps into the cozy kitchen to say hello to her mother.

Her mother was in the kitchen pouring over scattered papers and a calculator on the dining room table. Writing profusely, she did not notice her daughter standing in the doorway. “Heya mom today is the big day. I start college. I’ll probably be home late, I wanna pick up some books this way I can go over the material.” She tapped her fingers on the door waiting for a response.

Leah’s mother was tall and lean. Her blond hair was usually pulled back and she was still young and noticed by men for her elegance. Her other, Monica eloped with her father, Sean, back in college after realizing she was pregnant. Seven months later, Monica had a scare, she almost had a miscarriage and a C section was crucial. Yet, thankfully Leah was conceived and her mother was told she would not be able to have any more children do to the fact that she may not be strong enough to live through the next child. Watching her mother, she felt a wave of love and laughter. Monica was intelligent and observant of great detail. However, she had a tendency to be paranoid with current events and what happened. Leah could only imagine what it was like to know you cannot produce more children and to know that your body was the cause of it. Monica’s protection tendencies were usually understood yet Leah sometimes felt like she was being suffocated in this small bubble with just enough air to live but not to experience.

Her mother than looked up as if realizing her daughter was there. Her eyes widened as she said, “Darling, it’s your first day! I remember when you first started school. You never wanted to go and now look at you, a mature young woman ready to talk on college life.” her eyes then concentrated as her voice turned grave, “Darling, before you attend classes I want you to be prepared for college life, it isn’t all fun and games. It can be dangerous, do not fall for any strange young man without fully getting to know him, your father and I must meet these men, date rape is too common these days” she hesitated, “Do not think of me as crazy but I did read an article about such aspects happening. Your father and I are not always available to look after you…if you attend a party make sure there’s a legit driver sending you home and watch out for those frat boys I heard-“

Leah then cut her off as she grabbed her bag, “I’m sure you heard plenty of things mom, I’ll be fine. I am not going off to college to meet some random guy and elope with him leaving you with some child to look after.”

Although, she thought, it would get me away from this constant lecturing on all the dangers the modern world has.

Leah bent over to give her mother a hug goodbye and said, “I have to head out, I’ll see you later tonight, love ya mom.”

Her mother stared helplessly as she watched her daughter open the door, “make sure you’re warm enough, it’s gonna be chilly-“but before she can finish Leah was already out the door.

It was a gorgeous day outside as the sun started to lift, brightening the dark sky and creating a pink and orange glow. Leah inhaled the fresh air and smiled. Taking out her metro card she waited for the train to take her to her new school. She looked back at the quiet Brooklyn streets and feels a sense of freedom. She’ll be taking the train every day to Tenth Avenue in New York City.

Finally she gets on the train and analyzes the passengers, wondering if anyone would be in her class. She finds a small corner in which to sit and takes out her novel to pass the time. While pouring over the dramatic scenes she feels as if she is being watched. A tall man sitting on the far left side of the train is staring at her openly. He then looks down and smiles going back to his phone messages. Curiosity took hold of Leah as she studied the mysterious man; judging by his height while sitting, Leah guessed him to be above six feet. He had broad shoulders underneath a black v-neck t-shirt. He wore construction boots and heavy jeans to make it seem like he was about to do labor at a construction area. His black wavy hair fell over one eye as he brushed it back. He looked up and caught her staring at him.

Finally the train announced her stop and she hastily stood up only to have her notebook and all her college forms fell to the floor.

This is definitely not my day.

Leah knelt down picking up the papers while the man came and offered his assistance picking up the papers while glancing casually at one of the forms. Handing them to her he smiled and walked off the train.

“Leave it to me to make a fool out of myself when someone finally notices me” she muttered under her breath. An old woman turned her head and said, “Excuse me, I’m hard of hearing”. Leah just shook her head and headed to class.

She was running late through the streets trying to finding the proper building. Students were practically sprinting down the long city blocks with coffee and schedules in their hands. She was already five minutes late, running down to the nearest building she finds a waiting security officer leaning against the wall, “Can you tell me where this room is?” The security guard takes the paper and smiles, “You’re on the wrong block, go down two more and make a right, inside go up two flights of steps and find the class” he shakes his head then as she says her thanks and starts running. Her breathing quickens and her chest starts to feel pressure and pain but still she ran.

Ten minutes later, she finds the classroom and opens the door to walk in with fifty eyes staring back at her. Leah’s face was all red, hair coming out of her bun and her heavy breaths breaking the silence. She moved in between tight desks, almost knocking down a girl’s books in the process. A tall and stern looking professor with thinning gray hair stares for a second and explains what psychology is, “Psychology is the study of the human mind and how it affects our emotions and our behaviors. One must remember that a psychiatrist has the authority to prescribe medicine to their patients whereas a psychologist does not. However, lately things have been changing with those laws. We will go over some common deficiencies people experience that affect their normal way of life. Can anyone tell me a categorical disorder that affects people in society?” His monotone voice faded as he waited for a response. Glancing around the room, he points to Leah holding her head on the desk. He smiles and states, “Since you were so fashionably late, can you indulge us with a disorder?”

Leah lost all conscious thought and stared blankly at the teacher not even hearing what he said. The class waited and she felt their piercing eyes boring into her flesh. Suddenly a male’s voice rose and said, “I believe professor if I may that Schizophrenia is a category according to psychologists.”

Leah turned her head and recognized the man from the train, their eyes locked and he gave her a lopsided smile as he waited for the answer.

The professor merely looked from both of them and nodded his consent, “Very well since you answered for this young lady, I can admit that you are right. While there are plenty of various types of Schizophrenia, it is considered a category in disorders” he then scanned the attendance sheet and said, “Can I have your name please?” The man looked up and clearly in a deep voice said, “Troy Williams”. The professor gave a curt nod and wrote on the paper, sighing the professor yelled, “Alright get to your next class and read chapters three to eight, we’ll be skipping around the chapters a bit. Good day to you all.”

The students shuffled out of the class while Leah struggled to fit all her books in her bag. A shadow cascaded over her and blocked her light, as she turned her head, she saw him there. He had a serious face that made him appear as if he was in his thirties. Yet seeing his soft brown eyes one realized he was only a handful of years older than she. He held out his hand and smiled, “I’m Troy Williams, just moved here from Massachusetts. I’m sorry if I stole your spotlight over there, but I had a feeling you were thinking about something else”

Leah looked at him and said, “Well I didn’t mind in the slightest, you actually saved me back there. Usually I’m more focused and ready to answer any question thrown at me.” Her feet shifted nervously as she watched his eyes study her, finally she shook his hand in response, and “I’m Leah Anderson. As you can see, I am off to a good start on my first day of college. You were on the train this morning weren’t you? I never got the chance to properly thank you. I’m usually not this upfront talking to people yet when I’m nervous I tend to start blabbing which you definitely don’t want to stand and listen to because I’m probably making you late for class. Well its great meeting you and now I should leave before I make a fool out of myself.”

She let out a long breath and quickly side stepped him and went out the door. Going down the hall she studied her schedule and heard someone yelling, “Leah!”

She turned around to see Troy running up to her, “Will you let me take you out to dinner sometime?” Troy stared at the ground then at her while he kept darting his eyes and rummaging his hand through his hair.

Leah taken aback just stared at him in shock, “I uh, did you just ask me out?” Troy let out a laugh relaxing in composure, “I thought you said you were usually quick to answer questions?” Leah looked at him hard then but her lips softened into a smile, “You’re right, yes I’ll go out to dinner with you”. They quickly exchanged numbers and decided he would pick her up at seven that night.

As he walked away, Leah felt elation seep into her soul. Finally, things are looking up she thought; I must be doing something right! Traveling home all she thought about was the big date planned for later on. All petty annoyances seemed less important as the day wore on. As she walked in the door she found her mother searching the internet for flight tickets.

Probably yet another business trip thought Leah.

“Mother I won’t be home tonight…you see I met someone. Before you freak out he’s a very nice guy that helped me in class” she inhaled a breath and quickly said in a rushed voice, “he asked to accompany me to dinner tonight and I accepted. I’m really excited and you have nothing to worry about.” She bit her lip and watched her mother’s reaction.

Her mother looked skeptical and uneasy, “You know your father must meet this man and I agree with him whole heartedly. He can be anyone, you just met him and in order for you to leave this house I want to know who this man is” she paused then her voice reached even a higher pitch… “What if you go missing and I never see you again? I must be able to describe him. More and more girls are missing lately. Haven’t you watched the news? You just met this man and you’re letting take you out to God knows where?!” Her mother then went out of the room telling her that’s that and that she better deal with it.

Leah shook her head then sat on the cushioned seats holding her hand to her forehead as she looked out the window. Her mother was paranoid it was true yet she was right about the missing girls. More and more girls were missing every few weeks. The last case was a young girl about her own age that went missing in Boston, Massachusetts. Her mother only remembers that she was excited about meeting a “mature, young man”. She claims that a few weeks later, her daughter became very withdrawn and jumpy. Yet the mother only thought it was stress from school. But what were the chances of the next missing girl was going to be herself? It was one in a million chances and she knows how to be careful, she wasn’t as foolish as the other young women, and that happened in Massachusetts, a totally different state no less!

Running upstairs Leah sat pondering on what to do. Her fingers twirled around the phone cord. It wouldn’t hurt to postpone the date till next week. This way they can talk in class for bits perhaps hang out on campus. She then went on the college’s network and looked up his name…there should be some sort of student directory. Her fingers flew over the keys as she typed in, “Troy Williams”. Nothing came up. That’s strange she thought. Running down the carpeted staircase she rummages through the cabinets until she lifts up the heavy white pages.

Skimming through the letters, she thinks, how many Williams can there be? Apparently there were perhaps hundreds living in New York. Oh well I guess I’m just going to have to go out on the date, no one can say I haven’t tried can they? She then smiled to herself and ran back upstairs to get ready.

Two hours later, she wore a off the shoulder red silk top with a mid length black ruffled skirt. Her auburn hair was pulled back with a black rose barrette. She appeared two inches taller with open toed high heeled shoes. As she was fixing up her makeup she heard the doorbell ring. As she went to go answer the door she already heard voices between Troy and her father.

“Hello sir, I’m here to pick up Leah. My name is Troy; we take Intro to Psych together”

“Troy is it? It’s great to meet you. Wish I can say I heard a lot about you but never knew you existed until tonight. Uhh…Why don’t you come in?”

“Thank you, I think I will”

Leah then grabbed her bag and went to meet her parents and Troy in the living room. The living room had a sophisticated yet warm atmosphere. On the walls were watercolor paintings of places her parents have visited…Italy, Prague, Paris, the works. She could stare at those paintings for hours and get lost within them. Her eyes then shifted to the maroon colored walls and how it contrasted with the white roses in the antique vase. The hard wood floors held a beautifully woven rug of intricate designs of various patterns and vines. There sitting on the tan fabric couches were her mother staring at Troy. Her father laid in the recliner pulled back talking about various business deals he was hoping to achieve. Troy was sitting on the edge of the couch with his hands folded while apparently at ease while continuing the insignificant chat.

Smiling Leah decides to interrupt the interesting scene.

“Hey, I’m sorry I took so long, found a loose thread. Troy shouldn’t we be going now?” Leah caught Troy’s eyes and dragged her eyes back and forth between him and the door. Her mother then grabbed Troy’s attention,

“Troy, you haven’t told us much about yourself yet, the night is young! We are all so curious about Leah’s new interest!”

Leah’s mouth fell open, “Mother!”

Ignoring Leah’s exclamation, Monica continued, “Ignore my daughter’s sudden outbursts, I’m afraid she got that from her father’s side.”

Laughing Troy put his hand through his wavy locks and said, “It’s quite alright. She definitely has spirit. Well, I was born in Massachusetts around the Salem area. I attended school and had a knack for writing and decided to give it a shot. It helped keep my mind off things. I have a younger sister and an older brother both who are still back home.” his eyes then darkened for a brief second then his eyes suddenly held its usual charm, “My parents were never really around for us, usually busy with their own affairs and dinner parties” he then hesitated, “When I was sixteen my parents were in a fatal car accident. It was a foggy night on this empty route, a drunk driver came and well you can picture the rest…Anyway now here I am in the grandest city of the world taking your daughter out on a date.”

Monica’s eyes then scrutinized him, “I am so sorry you went through such tragic at such a young age, it’s tragic for anyone, but to be such a young boy and go through it I cannot imagine. However, what became of your younger sister, she doesn’t reside with you?”

Troy then cracked his knuckles and stared at Monica, “She lives with my grandparents, I couldn’t stay in Massachusetts, couldn’t bear it. My elder brother is at a University around the area so he checks in on her” checking his watch he then said, “well the movie is going to be started soon, perhaps we can continue this chat another time. Leah? Are you-“

Monica then cut him off, “She can wait a minute, when are you bringing her home, and she does attend early classes”.

Leah’s father, Sean interrupted, “Mom, let them go out, it’s early. We interrogated the man enough” looking to Troy he smiled, “you must forgive my wife, she’s very protective over our daughter, and bring her back by midnight that should be sufficient.”

Monica closed her mouth and decided it was best not to argue. Once his mind was made up there was no way to persuade him out of it, she would at least need an hour and a few minutes were hardly enough time to show her husband her views. Nodding her head she walked over and hugged her daughter whispering, “Be careful love”.

Leah pulled away and smiled, “Ok let’s go Troy! Love you mom, thanks dad!” She then pulled on Troy’s arm as he quickly told his thanks and “nice meeting you” to both parents. They then closed the door leaving her parents standing there.

Two hours later after the movie was finished, Troy sat opposite of Leah in a quiet booth in an Italian Restaurant. The lights were dimmed and waiters were dressed fashionably in penguin suits. Troy wore a tailored gray suit that showed the deepness of his brown eyes. He smiled as they discussed classes remarking on how beautiful she looked.

“People say that candlelight gives off someone’ best features, yet I believe you’re the light of this place. Your beauty is magnificent. The way your eyes turn a light green in such a light” he studied her for a few moments as Leah shifted in her seat.

“You are a charmer and such compliments I’m definitely not used to. I haven’t been out on a date in awhile I’m afraid. Usually I’ll be studying or reading as much as possible. I hope to become a writer someday” she then looked down towards her plate.

Troy then reached over and lifted her chin, “Well I have a feeling you won’t be out dating for long. There’s something between us and I intend for us to be together. Do you know the stars determine our fates? If one can just study them, they will know where to go in life” his eyes seemed to be distant as if picturing a scene far away, “For instance, I can tell by your personality that your astrological sign is a Cancer and judging by your impressed face I know I’m right. You are the sign of the moon, beautiful, romantic and maternal, you’ll be a wonderful mother” he then looked her over possessively as he said that.

Leah took a sip of her water and swallowed, her fingers drummed the tables nervously, “It is way too soon to even think about such things, I’m nineteen. I am romantic and plan to fall in love and let it take me to wherever it does, but I’m in no rush to move it.”

“You must understand time cannot be counted on, it’s crucial to plan everything accordingly. When I first saw you I knew you were the one. On the train did you not feel such power? My sign is Capricorn. We are compatible and I waited such a long time to find someone whom I felt connected to. I could have found other Cancer’s but I saw the desperation and struggle in your eyes and I can fix that. The stars are on our side. With my ambition and your romanticism we can build a life together” his fist banged the table in excitement and fellow customers turned their hands staring at the strange couple.

He then grabbed her hand, “You must feel it too, don’t you?”

Leah hastily pulled her hand away and took a breath, “Your passion is fantastic. I am not “the one” I cannot be “the one”. We only talked briefly before and you act like you know who I am! The stars are beautiful and I always want to believe there’s some sort of path constructed for us yet what you are telling me, what you are obsessed with is that we are practically engaged in your eyes!” Realizing her voice was getting louder she moved inwards and whispered, “I do not think I’m the one you’re looking for and definitely not the power to your life search. I want you to take me home now.”

Leah then signaled the waiter and got up and walked out of the restaurant. Outside in the cold, she folded her arms to her chest as she waited for Troy.

Her mind was running a mile a minute. What was supposed to be the night of her dreams turned into such a nightmare? How can someone who seemed so perfect be so terrifying? His obsession made her uneasy and she felt uncomfortable with the prospect. It was as if he was claiming her without her own choices. She felt his eyes at that table, the way he looked at her made her feel as if she was tied to the chair, unable to move. Definitely not in the romantic, love struck sort of way. Perhaps the Fatal Attraction movie was more like it. She must end it before it got out of hand.

A touch on her shoulder made her jump. Turning around she saw Troy staring at her. Taking a step back she felt the cold hardness of the brick wall and the heat of his eyes staring at her. Forcing a smile she said, “Tonight was great but I really should be getting back now”. She then took a sidestep trying to move around him only to be faced with his arm blocking her way. Troy’s eyes narrowed as he stared her up and down and replied, “I will take you home, but you will see that we belong together”. He then smiled and held out his arm motioning her to walk in front of him.

The car ride was tortuous and silent. Leah stared out of the window, her hands clenched to stop them from shaking. What should have felt like a twenty minute car ride felt endless. The sky was a midnight blue and the clouds had all departed. The trees passed with a blur as they moved along the highway. As she was about to break the uncomfortable silence, Leah noticed the knuckles on Troy’s hands were pale white as he gripped the steering wheel. His blue eyes turned dark and all demeanors were cold. She looked and saw an old Volkswagen in front of the car moving at an average pace.

His voice rang out in a fiery yell, “Get off the fucking road!” His hand held the horn and Leah pulled on the handle above the car. “Troy, calm down! You’re gonna get us in an accident!” Troy barely seemed to hear her and just yelled, “You have to get back and study, that old bag of a woman is going to move whether she likes it or not!”

Troy then swerved the car and the tires screeched. The car rubbed against the dirt causing friction and Leah’s screams pierced out. She looked back to see the other car fading into the distance. Holding her hand against her pounding heart she said a silent prayer to have her return safe.

Ten minutes later, the car was pulled in front of the two story house. Leah unbuckled her seat belt and reached over to open the door. Troy’s arm shot out over her and pulled the handle closing the door. His voice was gruff and demanding, “You are mine, remember that.” his arm still held her. Leah looked down at her lap while she struggled to pull his arm off her. He then took his other arm and grabbed her face roughly, “Look at me! You’ll realize it soon enough. See you tomorrow.”

He then let go of her leaving the imprint of his fingers on the side of her face. She opened the door and ran towards the house. She fumbled with her keys as she kept looking back. His black Mercedes was double parked with the headlights on. Even without seeing him she can tell he was watching her every move. Finally, she found the key and twisted it in the lock, pulling the door open she rushes in and locks the door. Breathing deeply, Leah looked out the window; the black car was still double parked. She checked the time on the cable box only to see that it was only 10:20 p.m. Still catching her breath she looks out the window only to see the car smoothly driving away…

The next morning Leah woke up and walked down the steps only to run into her mother. Her mother looked at her and asked, “How was your evening?”

Leah just shook her head in response, “He’s not for me. We have totally different outlooks in life. I would rather not talk about it.” Leah then pushed past her mother and fled into the kitchen.

Monica then yelled to her daughter, “Leah! What happened?!”

Leah’s response was stressed and cold, “I said I do NOT want to talk about it! Just leave me alone!” The slamming of the door made the picture frames shake and leaving her mother open mouthed at the sudden change of her daughter.

Leah ran outside towards the busy streets. Her mind raced with questions on what to do. How can she face him in class? He must have seen the terror in her eyes. She had a feeling there would be no reasoning with him. Classes have just started and to drop out due to some astronomy obsessive guy wasn’t worth it. She had to stick it out. She then swiped her metro card and waited to get to class.

After a long and delayed trip on the subway, Leah finally reached her class. Going to her desk she came across a withered rose and a note which read, “A withered rose resembles love denied.” Leah’s hands shook as she read the note over and over. The class shuffled in and murmurs surrounded her. Students glanced over her, hiding smiles behind their hands and taking their seats. The petals of the rose crumbled in her hand.

Surely the note is just some silly prank she thought. Yet as her mind told her logical explanations, her intuition told her otherwise.

Composing herself she took a seat and pushed the note into her jean pocket and the rose in her shoulder bag. As she watched the second hand on the plain clock move, she dreaded the moment he would come into that door. Yet soon the class was dismissed and he never showed up.

Leah walked out of class only to have a girl pull on her arm. Leah turned to recognize a young woman staring back at her with worry and confusion. The girl had olive skin and long dark hair with big brown eyes. She gripped her books to her chest. “I’m sorry, it’s just…I saw the rose and the letter” she waited, “I know it’s none of my business but it has to do with Troy. He’s been telling people about your relationship and well…your intimacy with each other. He talks as if he owns you. I thought nothing of it, thinking he was just a random jerk but then I saw the rose and wanted to let you know.”

Leah moved towards the wall and leaned against it. The girl looked back at her with worry asking if she was alright, should she get help. Leah heard voices but could barely tune into what the girl was saying. Her mind raced and she felt light headed. The faces of passing students blurred and before she knew it all was black.

Leah’s eyes opened as confusion swept over her. Unsure of where she was she jumped up grabbing the bed sheets. Her eyes then adjusted to the lavender walls as she realized she was in her room. Searching her mind she tried to remember what had happened. Her mind focused on the girl that told her of Troy’s discussions with the other students.

Feeling the prickling against her thigh she pulled out a crumpled piece of note paper with the almost mesmerized words, “A withered rose resembles love denied.” Her life felt like a nightmare only she was living it each day.

Whispers downstairs brought Leah to her feet slowly, propelling her to the door. Moving out into the hallway she looked down the banister only to see her father smiling at no other person than Troy. Troy was wearing jeans with a tight gray knit shirt. In his hand were red and white roses. As if sensing her presence he looked up and his eyes caught hers. Shivers went down her spine as she forced her feet to gain power and bring her back into her room. Her father yelled up, “Leah you have a visitor, he’s coming up.” The father then outside where the noises of hammers and power saws drilled into the air.

Leah moved towards the window as she heard Troy’s steps. His steps carried on slowly, “Leah, Leah, I’m coming. Everything is alright now.” His steps moved closer to the door. For a moment all went silent. She watched as the knob turned slowly and he walked in.

To a regular onlooker, Troy would appear well distinguished and handsome. His strong jaw and the wavy hair that fell over his long lashes made him appear god like. Yet to Leah, the charm and façade of such handsomeness made her see through it all. His eyes appeared to lose all reality. They held determination and coldness. His jaw seemed to be clenched as he forced a smile. His posture was tense as he stood in the doorway.

Leah gripped the edge of the window as he started to walk towards her. He stood in front of her and his hand caressed her face, “Why won’t you let me love you? These roses I brought for you. The red and white represent love and unity. It’s us don’t you see?” She pulled her face away from his hand and stared at him with a new defiance in her eyes.

“I will never love you! You forced your way into my life. You charmed my father into believing you’re a victim struggling in life. You picture yourself married to me after just learning my name. Why won’t you leave me alone?” she yelled.

“You said that you believed the stars constructed a path for US! You felt the connection just as much as I did. You are a siren trying to pull me into insanity!” He threw the flowers as well as the vase against the wall. The glass vase shattered and pieces of glass flew into the air. Water and petals mixed on the floor.

His anger startled Leah who tried to push past Troy as she grabbed a letter opener from her desk, “I said no such thing, and I said it would be convenient if the stars planned life out for us so we wouldn’t have to live in the unknown! Us as in people. There is no us, there will never be an us! You hold some morbid obsession with me.” She pointed the letter opener towards him, “Get out of my house!”

Troy lurched forward swinging her around as he held the letter opener towards her neck. Leah felt the cold steel pressed up against her skin as she struggled to fight. He leaned his mouth towards her ear and whispered, “I’ll return and make you my bride. Tell anyone and that rose will be you. If I can’t have you, no one will and I am not someone to doubt.” He threw her against the wall as she crumbled to the floor on top of the stinging glass. He left the room with quickness and moments later she heard the door slam shut.

Weeks have passed since that day and Leah lied to her parents, saying she pulled the cloth in which the vase fell. Her parents were skeptical but knowing how Leah is usually truthful, they dropped the matter entirely. Her mother pulled Leah aside one day and asked, “Leah your father and I have to go visit your aunt, she’s ill, but if you like we can postpone if it makes you feel better.” Her mother then studied her.

Leah then shook her head and smiled, “Mom I’m alright, nothing is wrong. I thought I had some trouble with Troy but I think we established that we aren’t going out. Go and send my love to Aunt Tess. If I didn’t have classes I would go.”

Her mother looked at her and pulled her into a hug, “Alright love, if you need anything, just call”. She then left Leah standing there hoping she made the right choice.

That night her parents left to visit her aunt for a week. Everything seemed to go back to normal for Leah without any signs of turmoil. School progressed and signs of Troy had ceased. Rumors had it that he moved back to Massachusetts to check on his sister. Leah did not care as long as he was gone for good this time. Leah’s studying increased and proved to be significant, resulting in a B+ average. Soon she felt comfortable to go on casual dates with men from some of her other classes. Slowly and surely, her life was getting pulled together again.

As she was getting ready to go out on a date, a beeping of her phone went off. Reaching over towards the end table she opened the phone to realize she received a text. It was from a random number she couldn’t recall, “Your black dress is lovely tonight.” Her hand let go of the phone as she looked around the room. All was well and she figured it was one of her friends she talked to earlier playing some joke. As she went over towards the window, she noticed a car parked across the street under an oak tree. She strained her eyes to see who the driver was but only saw a faint shadow. The hair on her arms prickled as she closed the window and walked back to her bed. The doorbell rang as she ran down the steps kissing her parents goodbye. She was now dating a man named Jared from her English class who shared all her passions of literature. As they descending the stoop and into his car she looked in the rearview mirror to see the parked car slowly follow behind. Shaking all crazy thoughts, she smiled at her date.

Throughout the date, Leah wasn’t her usual self. She forced conversation between her and Jared yet her mind kept drifting back to the phone message and the strange car. Pushing all thoughts aside she smiled at him, “I really appreciate you taking me out, I’m not really my-“, the phone started beeping, “Excuse me”. Leah answered her phone, “Hello?” Hearing only slight breathing Leah continued to ask who the caller was only to hear a click. Hastily she picks up the menu and smiles, “So what should we have?”

Jared looked at her skeptically, “Who was that?”

Leah pushed a strand lock of hair behind her ears and looked at him, “It was just a wrong number, nothing to worry about.” Fumbling with her phone under the table she pressed for it to go on silent. After the date, Leah thanked Jared and gave him a kiss goodbye. She closed her bedroom door and plopped on her bed. Forgetting she put her phone on silent, she checked for any important messages. In the inbox there were twenty unread text messages. The messages ranged from sexually detailed descriptions to threatening remarks. Skimming the texts she felt tears burn her eyes. The texts kept coming repeatedly. A sense of desperation and anger filled the air as she read his words. The beeping on the phone persisted which caused Leah to grab the phone throwing it at the door where it fell.

That night Leah slept with unease. Her mind kept forming pictures of Troy’s menacing eyes and his power like grip on her arms. She felt vulnerable as she struggled trying to break free of his grasp. Her breathing turned shallow and the feeling of being suffocated overtook her. All she kept hearing was his whispers, “If I can’t have you no one will and I am not someone to doubt”. His laughter rang her ears as her legs got tangled beneath her sheets. She felt terror seized her.

A loud noise broke the nightmare bringing Leah back into reality. Leah then reached over into the drawer on her end table and pulled out the letter opener. Swiftly she took the blade and put it under her pillow.

A car alarm went off in the distance as Leah lifted herself in a sitting position as she broke out in sweat. She walked into the dark hallway towards the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. Her bloodshot eyes looked back at her with fear. Lately she hasn’t been sleeping well or at all even. She turned on the faucet as cold water came out. Cupping her hands she splashed water onto her face. As she lifted her head up she saw a glimpse of a shadow. Swinging around she looked for something to grab. She realized the shadow was the curtain moving with the wind near her bedroom. Sighing, Leah walked over and closed the window pulling the curtains shut. As she went to turn around, a wet cloth covered her mouth and nose.

Strong hands pulled her against a hard chest. Her legs kicked and struggled as she tried to breathe, only to inhale the chemicals of chloroform themselves. She smelled the sweetness of the chemicals as she fought the intruder. Her hands pulled at his arm relentlessly. As the chemicals came in, her kicking ceased as she fell into his arms. She only heard, “Now you’ll be mine”.

Leah awoke with a start. The pounding of her head was perpetual. She arms and legs felt weak and she could barely lift up her head. The sweet aroma filled her nostrils making her want to vomit. She tried to move her arms to no avail. Opening her eyes fully she found herself on her bed. Confusion swept over her as she tried to adjust to the light. A dark shadow fell over her body. She heard his voice, “Leah my love, I am so happy you’re awake. I’m sorry about drugging you but it had to be done. You wouldn’t have cooperated anyway.”

Leah could even picture him smiling in a ruthless way as he told her his plans. “I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am about our union. We really don’t need God to make a marriage legit as long as it’s consummated and our love binds it.” She watched with horror as he climbed onto the bed. His body then leaned over her and she felt the heat radiating from his skin. She struggled and cried as she tried to move from underneath his grip. Furiously he ripped her pants opened and began to caress her legs slowly whispering, “I have always loved you. Since I was a child I wanted to find some sort of love that can never be denied.”

Leah started to feel her legs come to life again as she attempted to kick him, “Get off me!” Her voice was strained and raspy. She then looked at him and spit in his face. Troy then pushed her farther into the bed, “My parents never understood my need for attention, my struggle to please them. So I sought it elsewhere. Women were always charmed by my looks and my intelligence. I gave them the chance to love me, I did. They were beautiful, oh not as beautiful as you Leah, but they filled the void in my heart.” With his hands he opened up his belt and zipper moving closer to Leah. Her cries rang out as she moved her body repeatedly back and forth trying to move out from underneath him but his body held her down. Her hand was on her side as the other one was underneath her head near her pillow.

Troy continued with hardness to his voice, “They didn’t understand me! Their idea of love was superficial. They couldn’t see beyond their everyday lives. I tried to enlighten them with the ideas of the stars and how the stars can align to determine when we’re meant to prevail, when our love would prevail. Those women refused to even comprehend. They called me insane, pushing me from them. Police ransacked my computer forbidding me to even go near. Those women are gone now, I was the only one who can have them and in my death they will be mine and we will meet.”

His smile gave her chills as he looked at her, “You my love will be mine in this lifetime. No more mistakes.” He then pressed his lips against her as he tried to pull down her underwear.

Leah pushed her hand under the pillow as she finally gripped the letter opener. With all her strength she took the blade and kissed him back with fierceness, “Death cannot come swifter for the likes of you.”

She then took the blade and using all her energy pushed it to his neck. Blood spurted out like a fountain as his arms moved wildly gripping his neck. He stumbled off the bed to the floor pushing against his knees to get up. Leah ran down the steps towards the phone dialing the police. The busy signal tolled as the operator told her to please wait a moment and to remain calm. Leah dropped the phone and ran to the kitchen grabbing a kitchen knife she turned on all the lights in the house. Seeing the blood on her legs made her want to throw up. She felt pain and terror as she heard the operator’s voice. Leah ran to the phone and put it to her ear, “Someone is in my house, p-please help me, he tried to r-rape me” her sobs rang out as she begged the operator for help, “I stabbed him, I d-don’t know where he is.” Quickly Leah gave her address and locked herself in the bathroom.

Minutes later sirens rang out as police broke down the door. Paramedics followed in after the police searching the house. Knocking down the bathroom door, they found Leah huddled in the corner gripping a butcher’s knife. Her body was trembling and she seemed unsure of where she was. Her auburn hair was matted with blood and her clothing was torn. A mixture of tears and blood stained her cheeks. The police searched the house for Troy but only found blood on the bed and a pool of dark red blood on the floor along with shreds of sheets soaked. They explained to her that Troy was nowhere to be found. A police officer spoke to her, “Miss we are searching the area. He will be found. You’re one of the lucky ones. Three women haven’t survived his attacks. He was a suspect but no evidence could be held against him. He’s been moving around for quite some time ever since he cut the brakes on his parent’s car as a kid.” He then looked at her with worry, “Miss?”

Leah just shook her head and clutched her arms to her chest rocking back and forth. The officer then told her that her parents were on her way. The paramedics came in checking her over to make sure she was alright as they transported her to the emergency room.

Two months later, Leah was diagnosed with panic disorder. She suffered from flashbacks and night terrors every so often. Her witty demeanor turned into a quiet and isolated state. As she was watching the news a bulletin came up, “Today in the small town of Cleveland, a young woman of eighteen was reported missing. Her parents claim that she was seeing a young man fitting the description of the alleged suspect, Troy Williams. We encourage young women to be careful who they let into their lives. Troy Williams’ only surviving victim was that of Leah Charles.”

Published in: on June 14, 2010 at 4:15 PM  Comments (1)  

The Blessed Tower

Charity Cole sat on the ivory window seat as she stared out absent mindedly. Her fingers unconsciously traced the engraved carvings on the wooden windows. Through the glass the green pastures lay out like a blanket and the warm sun looked inviting. If she really looked hard enough she can see the small cottages of villagers out in the distance. The day was filled with promises and beauty- she itched to just run out of her chamber and to feel the grass tickle her feet. The only movements were the lords dressed in official garments of the kingdom of royal blue. They rode with urgency upon stallions of onyx colors and deep browns; perhaps it is another message from the former Church of England. Ever since his highness, King Henry VIII decided to separate from the church due to the desire for annulment, all went to chaos. She nervously bit her lip refusing to think about such matters now.

Her mind drifted to past memories of a lavish yet simple lifestyle. She grew up in it a distinguished and respected family. Her mother was prized for her angelic beauty amongst the court and her ability to charm the Queen. To this day people ask about Lady Margaret Stone and confusing Charity with her mother. A soft smile tugged at her mouth as she combed through her golden locks she inherited from her. Her eyes were the replica of her father’s but were a deeper green that held knowledge, serenity and truth. The combination of both features gave her a silent yet knowing aura that kept people curious at what laid behind her eyes. As she was smoothing out her gown of pure dark green silk, she heard the urgency of footsteps heading towards her chamber.

She lifted up the corners of her gown and moved her legs over the window seat. Her feet slipped into golden slippers embedded with a green jade towards the head of the shoe. She was about to pin her hair into a bun when pounding fell against the hard wood door. Anxious she runs towards the door and calls out her warnings of her inappropriate attire. Yet the hard knocks on the door and shuffling of keys persist. Her feet step backwards frantically to avoid the opening of the door. She reaches and her hands wrap around the pillar of the bed for support while four guards push into the room with the king’s messenger, Thomas Cromwell at their heels.

A look of alarm is in his eyes as he tries to suppress it with a smile. He’s being strong for me. The guards move in closer as she lets go of the pillars and moves backwards only to fall into the tapestry. The tapestry was that of strength to her; embroidered with the fields of the kingdom and the skies that showed a glimpse of heaven. The threads showed the architecture of the kingdom at its finest. Now the tapestry was only a barrier, preventing her of escape and into the grips of the guards before her. The guards were dressed in hard steel armor mesh material around their chest. A guard stopped before her and his hand reached out as the steel gauntlet pressed against her neck. The taste of metal filled her mouth as she was biting her tongue to resist screaming. Two guards swiftly moved aside each grabbing her wrists in a painful manner. She felt frozen as if time was stopping; a few minutes of hell fell into what felt like hours. Her legs broke free from the feeling of being paralyzed as she started kicking into air. Screams pierced the air and she wondered who was yelling and how she may help them; only to realize the screaming was her own. The Earl of Essex, Thomas Cromwell’s protests echoed in the room on how the guards were handling her. She was lifted into the air as she moved through the door. Her arms ached and felt as if they were about the break.

Her struggles were in vain as she was carried forcefully down the stone path of the kingdom. Her head lolled back and her back ached with pain. She felt the cool air on her skin and the rips in her gown, making her feel vulnerable and shamed. Orders were barked in a deep hoarse voice to prepare the chambers for a new inmate at the legendary Tower of London. Her mind felt chaotic as she struggled to comprehend the scene taking place around her. The countenance was that of confusion and shock. The tower came into view. Its structure reaches towards the heavens- at least a hundred feet high and its beauty seemed malicious in a way. She was struck with the realization that her impending fate would be determined by the tower in which she was led. Her feet now dragged to the floor without any reserve for empathy from the guards.

The River of Thames came into view as she was laid into an old shaky wooden boat with the guards. The river had a smoky gleam. The scenery which was so beautiful enveloped into darkness as if mimicking her reflection. The clouds collided into a deep gray. Guards pulled the oars and moved with difficulty until they reached the traitor’s gates. I am heading into the pits of Hade’s realm; this is more of the River of Lethe then that of Thames. If only she could forget the monstrous present life like that of the souls which reach the forgotten waters of the underworld rather than the pits of darkness William the Conqueror created. She was in front of the White Tower’s underground gates. The tower for lower class criminals and people accused of treason. The black gate was one all queens saw in their nightmares. The heavy latch was final and the hand marks as people pulled from being taken inside showed on the heavy design of crisscross patterns. She was faced with stone arches of bricks above and pillars of stone on each side as she moved along the river. The ground was cobblestone and the scratches of fingernails left a mark. The only light was that of the slit windows. She was pushed into a small dungeon known as the “Little Ease”. The name fit the structure well. Her legs were cramped and she could neither sit nor stand. The doors locked behind her and the echoes of laughter faded into the distance as the guards went on their merry way.

The cells were joined together and thin in which you can hear the cries and whimpers of prisoners around. The putrid air was so thick she can taste it on her tongue. The darkness was absolute and isolating. Her fingers wrapped around her legs massaging movement into them. Her breath was shallow and the dampness of the air left her shivering in despair. She fell into waves of unconsciousness and the times when she was awake felt like torture. When she fell into a state of dreams she pictured her family. Her mother’s smile rang true when she delivered the news to her daughter of the King’s arrival to the land. Charity flashed back as she remembered the alarm of such a visit; for the king was known for his impetuous and cruel ways when it concerned matters of love. She was thought to be an interest to the king who admired her strength and reserve amongst his visit. Before his departure he promised to fetch her to appear at court. Her father beamed with pride at the king’s request, believing his daughter would be the next queen of England. Yet Charity remembered the flicker of lust appearing in King Henry VIII’s eyes and knew that danger lurked ahead. He was known for his mistresses since Katherine of Aragon and she knew she may be one of the next women to please the king. Her worries were ignored by both parents and she was urged to not refuse the king. There was great risk concerned with the land due to the soil not being fertile and the poor weather. To be under the king’s advances would promote prosperity and gifts; one of the masked attributes of the great king.

Three days hence, she heard the arrival of a carriage and was beckoned by the king. She left for court only to be given a lavished room of green and gold. Her eyes set upon the window seat and the library in the far corner of the room. He researched about herself and her interests and regarded it as his own. That night, a lady in waiting came into her room and explained that the king wanted her in his bedchamber. She was led into a dark room; the only light were that of candles covered in red silk to give an eerie glow. She trembled that night as the door closed and regarded her fate as the King’s mistress.

Her mind awakened from her remembrances and focused on the closet she was cramped in. The sound of footsteps came in and the latch opened blinding her eyes with the harsh light. She heard muttering from a supposed guard, “The king requests you to be in a more applicable environment until your sentence is read.” She was lifted with harshness as he carried her into a wide chamber filled with other prisoners. He left her on top of a clad of filthy hay which pricked her skin. She cried out in pain as she tried to move her legs covered in scars. Her once beautiful gown was tarnished and tattered and her hair was thick with mud. The face that was regarded with beauty and admiration held traces of dried blood and a paleness that dead could not even compare to. Charity focuses her eyes and sees silhouettes of other prisoners in the cell. Some were chained to the wall without any recognition of movement. The bones were visible through their skin as if it would protrude outwards at any possible moment.

Tears of frustration poured down her face and she tasted the salt in her mouth. She cried to scream out and communicate with her fellow inmates to question the fates yet her mouth was dry. Her tongue felt like sandpaper and no voice would propel through her lips. There was no more count of the days. Gruel was given through a latch at the door. Her legs pushed her and she attempted to crawl to reach the food. Buckets of gray and filthy water were forced through and her hands cupped the heavenly liquid to her mouth and relished as it slid down her throat. The gruel was bumpy and dark yet she ate it as if it was a feast. Her mind drifted to a normal night in which the king beckoned her to his bed.

She laid in the bed waiting and silent as she forced her body and mind to become numb as he pushed himself on her. His weight nearly suffocated her and the foul odor that seeped from his legs made it nearly impossible not to flinch. After his enjoyment was finished he would turn and sleep until morning came queuing her departure. She would then crawl under her own covers and wept until light touched her face. Later that day, there was coldness from the King and the head lady in waiting, Jane Boleyn gossiped about an urgent meeting in which the king had to depart for five days. Her countenance held satisfaction and knowledge as she left the room. Now it felt as if years had passed her by without any consolation or warning as she drifted in frightening slumber.

Charity was awoken by the sounds of heavy footsteps. Her eyes moved upwards towards the man that was standing before her. He moved with hesitation, stepping over the bodies while trying not to flinch. Thomas Cromwell kneeled before her and stared at her form with hidden disgust. He explained that a note was given to the king by a trusted servant named Jane Boleyn. The note entailed a romance between Charity and a Lord from her social standing back at the village in which she resided. He clasped his hands together and furrowed his brows. “Letters being given from male residences was not a crime. Yet there was severe coquetry between you and this gentleman that brought the conclusion that you were not an innocent before being given to the king.” He waited and fastened the buckles at his wrists, waiting for the information to seep through. Charity managed to lift her head and look at Cromwell, “I have not deceived the king in any way. I was called by him to please him in his bed in which his wife cannot. He needed an heir and I was told I was his only option. My protests would not divert the king into believing that all accusations are false. The maids were known to have found blood on his sheets when prepared to be washed” she hesitated and her eyes lowered to her hands, “I am an innocent prisoner of fate and will hold all dignity. My hope lies in the afterlife that waits for me.” Cromwell stared at her with a glimpse of respect and sadness in his eyes. He studied her for a moment then pushed against the floor and stood up. His eyes circled the room and he all he said was, “The king has made his decision, you are guilty of betrayal towards the king of England”. With a slight hand movement, he beckoned the guards and left without another word.

The guards walked in and lifted her through the latched door. The dim light was all she saw as she grasped for any memories of comfort. None had come. She was alone with her soul and the path destiny had chosen for her and others before her. Her legs were unable to hold up her body, forcing the guards to carry her through the fortress towards the green pastures. She heard yells and cheers of people outside. As the light came through the opening, she felt blinded and flinched against the sunlight. Groups of people waited around the guillotine behind a fenced in gate. As her eyes accustomed to the sunlight she analyzed her surroundings. The people’s dispositions were mixed. She recognized some faces from the palace. Tears stained their cheeks and hands covered their eyes as they stood as one. She felt pity for them and wondered why they were crying. Did they not know that all will be well again? The blessed tower will being me peace and ends all torture for prisoners and the damned of King Henry VIII’s wrath. Her eyes then focused on another mixture of people who geld apprehension and curiosity at her demise. Their eyes gleamed with anticipation for this was the only entertainment given to the people.

She was then lead up a few steps in which the guillotine waited. Its broad wooden structure was one to be admired for its strength and agility. It was regarded as a blessing from the king to get an execution so swift and tolerable. She nearly laughed aloud. The blade shone and sparkled under the sun, its smooth edges yearned to cut through. She was made to kneel down on a structure and the guards tied thick ropes around her wrists. Her body quivered and her mind went into chaos. Her head was placed on a ledge and a basket waited underneath. A blindfold covered my eyes and pulled tight around my head. She drew a sharp intake of breath. Delusions filled her mind. Pictures of the pastures of land and the smiles of her family filled her thoughts. The feeling of the wind pulled her hair and caressed her face. In spite of herself a smile worked its way to her lips. She welcomes the touch of insanity, for anything was appreciated then this present time of corruption and horror. The executioner asked for her final words before the people and if she admitted her sins to the Church of King Henry VIII. Her lips parted and a soft voice came about, “God has created a place for all the souls he has killed and I anticipate the afterlife waiting for the evils given to England. I will accept my fate and walk into heavens with purity and stature of not of a mistress but that of the dignity of a Queen.” She then pressed her eyes tight and tensed her body. Her last memory was the feel of the wind as the blade fell down upon her.

Days later, the king’s arrival was welcomed among the palace. He walked with a limp and had Cromwell at his heels telling him the execution was completed. The king always left the lands when blood was to be shed, for he cannot face the wrath of the court which grown to love his future prisoners. He fell into his throne with a heaving sigh waiting on the visitors to rally the political standings on his kingdom. The Duke of Norfolk walked up to him and bowed in respect. He lowered his voice and eyes set straight at the king and whispered, “Your highness, I applaud you for another great decision in exterminating impure blood in our kingdom.” The king nodded his head in approval as the duke left to his quarters only to witness Jane Boleyn. She nervously moved her hands, playing with a loose thread on her dress and said to the duke, “My lord, your service has been completed, the letter was a success. The threat is no more. Anne of Boleyn may now rise to power.”

© 2010 Jennifer Marie Theresa Spencer

Published in: on June 13, 2010 at 2:44 AM  Comments (1)  
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